Do You Have a Secret Family Recipe? | Cup of Jo (2024)

My family had a dish that was served at Thanksgiving that I think qualifies. It was a jello mold/ cranberry sauce idea. Basically orange jello with chopped celery and walnuts added in, after melting a can of whole berry cranberry sauce into the hot gelatin mixture. I heard my mom talking about it on the phone once and I was like “Mom, that’s our family recipe, how could you give it out?” She laughed and said she was telling her niece how to make it as she was hosting Thanksgiving that year. Didn’t you call recipes like this “glark”- foods that were exclusive to your family that were a little weird/lowbrow but everyone expected them at the holidays?

I think this recipe is GENIOUS! You are so innovative and creative! I have loved absolutely every recipe that you have created and so appreciate your work.

Food may be meant for sharing, but that doesn’t mean the recipe has to be. IMHO, I love the idea of someone having a dish that people consider to be so special that they associate it with that person, that you anticipate it at parties, and dream about it at night . The mystery is the secret ingredient (even if it’s a boxed brownie mix). In today’s age, there are rarely secrets – everything gets posted and shared, which makes things so “unspecial”. Why not just enjoy the dish? That said, I do believe in preserving recipes for future generations, so they are not completely lost. So, rather than asking for the recipe I like to ask the person to promise to write down the recipe and pass it down to a trusted friend/family member when they feel the time is right (or even when they die). I loved getting my grandmother’s recipe box after her passing. It was like a little treasure chest.

My Yiayia makes all types of delicious food (mainly Greek food), but the family favorite is her browned butter spaghetti: spaghetti with lots of browned butter and Parmesan cheese. We’ve eaten it a bajillion times alongside her Greek salad and lemons roasted chicken. It never gets old!

Before my mom died I asked her why relatives complained that their versions of all her things never turned out the same as hers. She laughed. She always gave them the exact recipe. But for instance her applesauce cake (a favorite) if the recipe called for two cups applesauce…she put in 2 and 3/4s. If a cup of chocolate chips was good in cookies 2 1/2 made it hers. If she didn’t Iike an ingredient she would leave it out or substitute. Non essential ingredients she felt, were/are only a suggestion.

Secret family recipes were a big thing when I was growing up (in Greece), mostly because every housewife wanted to be famous for her talents in the kitchen. Luckily, my grandma and her friends always shared their recipes so I got the chance to document them from early on. My grandma was famous for her olive oil and sesame cookies (koulourakia) a recipe which you can find here: https://www.thehungrybites.com/sesame-and-olive-oil-cookies/

I totally agree. It is a compliment to hear that someone likes what you made and you are happy to share the love! Taking it “to the grave” is nonsense!

You gotta love it when your family has a ‘secret’ recipe that you can find on Pinterest these days :) Or one that’s better, all for free, online! Lol just don’t tell the mammas!

Tbh, I don’t mind ppl not wanting to give out their secret family recipes. I mean it stings to be told no, but I’d rather the immediate disappointment than the bigger one down the line when you realize that the person whose recipe you wanted knowingly and deliberately gave you an inaccurate one. This passive aggressiveness is the worst, especially after you’d already sunk in the money, time and effort into buying the ingredients, blocking out a part of your day to make it and then being crestfallen when the dish doesn’t turn out as expected because the person withheld some key information. That is just the worst feeling.

I had a great aunt who made this amazing pineapple cake with cream cheese frosting. My sister requested every year for her birthday. Nobody knew how to make it. Shortly before she died, a family member insisted the recipe get written down. They watched her make it, throwing handfuls of ingredients in the bowl, guessing the measurements of everything to finally create the recipe!

I have quite a few “secret family recipes” mostly because I love to cook and now that I am 62 have refined and perfected many recipes. I do pass them out to people who ask politely. But I do tell them they have to follow the recipes exactly as written, using the specified pans, ingredients and temperatures or else the result will not be the same. My one ” secret recipe” i kept to myself for quite a number of years–the King Arthur Flour Gluten free chocolate cake mix.I steadfastly refused to divulge the secret until my daughter in law begged me for it. I was a bit embarrassed but quite frankly, I cannot make a chocolate cake that tastes this good so quickly and reliably.

I never understand the “I can’t share the recipe” comment. I would think one of the best things about a family recipe is to share it and let the love get passed around.

My MIL comes to visit every year for a month because my husband’s family is from Argentina, and when she comes she is nonstop cooking. She offered to hand-write all her famous recipes me and my husband love, which was so sweet, but they are just a liiittle too vague. My favorite ‘instructions’- “…put it in the oven and bake until it’s done” no temperature or time given! Or “one mug flour/sugar/oil,” any mug will do! Lol. Even if it isn’t meant to be a family secret I don’t think I could replicate them correctly if I tried. Thankfully, she is always willing to shower us with lots of yummy food whenever we see her :)

My grandmother always said her mission in life was to feed people and she spent every day doing just that. She had several restaurants over the years in KY and everything was made by hand. She even fed people during the depression whether they could pay or not. Her bread was famous and was made in a 5 gallon bucket…. trucker’s would “reserve” bread on Friday’s so they could take it home to their families for the weekend. She cooked a lot by feel (biscuits) and intuition and tasting along the way. She always shared her recipes but nothing tasted the same as when she made it herself. Love really is the secret ingredient. Sadly, when she passed, my mom didn’t think to grab her recipe box. Later on, when we did think about it, we found out her 2nd husband had given it to her caretaker. So sad that so many of her recipes are gone for good.

My great grandma famously shared all her secret recipes with my mom and her sisters. The recipes however, never quite tasted the same. To their dismay they discovered she omitted one or two key ingredients in every single recipe. It sounds odious, but her intention was that you could only eat these amazing things at her house so the kids were always motivated to go visit her :) She did take all her secrets to the grave, oh well!

Yes, my paternal grandmother had a secret recipe for a steamed cranberry pudding served only at Christmas time. When I asked her for the recipe, she did give it to me with the proviso, “We don’t give this out, you know”. Later on, she did say that perhaps she’d been too protective of the recipe. She was a wonderful cook and hostess. After she died, I got her recipe box full of handwritten recipe cards. I typed out all the recipe cards in to the computer, printed a master copy, and then had that copied and bound to distribute to family members. I could actually taste some of the recipes as I typed them! And the recipe cards indicated from whom she’d received the original recipe (including the cranberry pudding!).
I also did the same thing with my maternal grandmother’s recipe binder. She was also a wonderful cook. And fortunately, that grandmother was still alive at the time, so I was able to give her a copy of the typed recipe book for Christmas.
I found the recipe cards to be a real historical record of my grandmothers’ friends and also of the places where they had lived.

One of the most beautiful gifts I’ve ever received was a scrap book full of favourite recipes from my team members in Germany. I was leaving and it was my farewell gift. Each of them chose their favourite recipe, many of which had been handed down within their own families. 40 amazing recipes a lot of which I still cook to this day, more than 17 years later. A truly amazing gift.

My mom makes Turkey Gumbo the day after Thanksgiving. My granddaddy made peach ice cream- I can’t find the recipe. My stepmom has this wonderful mashed carrots. You boil them, add crushed garlic, velveta or cheddar cheese, and a ton of butter.

This is hardly a recipe, but it’s a crowd pleaser and one of the dishes my father mastered: pepperoni and eggs. Fry 4 to 6 ounces of sliced pepperoni in a large skillet over medium heat until it begins to get crispy. While it’s cooking, beat 6 to 9 eggs (3 eggs per person…trust me!). When the pepperoni is crisp, turn up the heat a little, add the eggs, season with salt and pepper and cook, stirring, until they reach the level of firmness you like in a scrambled egg.

We love our chips and salsa in Texas and I make a Shrimp and Avocado Salsa that looks beautiful and tastes so good that I’ve even caught friends who “don’t eat seafood” eating it heartily. People can’t quite figure out the “secret” ingredient that makes it so wonderful. It’s……….ketchup. :)

I have my great grandmother’s “Cheap Gingerbread” recipe, scrawled in her handwriting on a piece of brown paper. It’s a recipe that’s never been shared outside of our family. My daughter-in-law loves this cake. On their wedding day I had a copy tucked in my purse and presented it with a flourish after giving them a toast. We still laugh about it…six years later.

Growing up, my mom would make her mother’s (secret family) cheese dip recipe. Even I didn’t know what was in it, and she would joke that she’d give me the recipe on my wedding day. I ended up getting married at 19, and it’s a running joke that I did it for the cheese dip recipe (which she did give me on the day of!). It’s not true, of course, but it certainly was a nice bonus!

My grandparents owned a drive-in in Sedalia, Missouri that was famous for something they called the “Guber Burger” – it was a regular burger with peanut butter on it! It sounds weird but is sooooo delicious. The secret ingredient is Peter Pan smooth peanut butter, because it has to be oily enough to melt on the patty.

I had a friend who once told me, you never really die if people still cook using your special recipes. I think this is true. Every time I make a shared recipe that I received from someone who is no longer with me, I think about them and remember them and the times we shared. It is one way to honor the special people who have been important in my life. And I happily share their recipes and stories with others.

My mother in law was a fabulous cook and people asked her for her recipes all the time. She started eating her own dishes every time she was invited to a dinner party. It drove her nuts. She had a recipe for artichoke soup that she then refused to give out and everyone wanted it. She passed it to me with the promise that I’d never share it. I’ve kept that promise but I sure wish she was still here to make it for me!

My super power not-so-secret recipe is my Maw Maw’s pie crust. Y’all. And I’m beyond happy to share because everyone should benefit from this genius!
For a double crust-
2 cups flour (run your fork through your flour to “fluff” it so you don’t end up with a too-heavily packed cup)
1/2 tsp. salt
In a Pyrex measuring cup–
1/2+ cup of canola/veg oil
1/4+ cup of cold milk
(I’m putting the + because I’ve found in recent years the need to add a smidge more of each to wet all the flour.)
Pour the wet ingredients into the flour, then *this is very important for some reason??* mix it all together with a FORK.
When the dough is combined, roll out half with wax paper. Flip it into the pie pan, then roll out the other half in the wax paper, setting aside until you’re ready to top your pie.
That’s it! No vodka, no butter, literally just four ingredients and just enough technique to make people fall madly in love with you/your pies.

My Grandmother Anna was such a great cook, I would beg her for some of her recipes, chicken soup, cabbage and noodles, pot roast, Pork chops and peas, they sound so simple but the way she made them was just incredible. She’d always say NO! but then later when I least expected it she would whisper to me ‘Meet me in the kitchen at (whatever time) and we can make (special dish)’ then it would seem so secret and special! I still make all of her recipes, they are divine. BTW- the secret to her Pot Roast is Gingersnaps, you know the old fashioned hard ones that come in the box? yup, just Gingersnaps, probably like 6 or 7 of them, they melt in the sauce and it’s the best pot roast I’ve ever had. ever.

Our family has a “secret” recipe, but not in the intense, bring it to your grave way (what is that even!!?!). My mom’s mom’s famous peanut butter bars. You could only get the recipe when you got married (it was the “dowry” – boy or girl, didn’t matter). True to form, my aunt brought a typewritten card with the recipe on it to my wedding :)

I have never understood secret recipes. I am always happy if someone wants a recipe of mine and am always happy to share. They are family recipes not a restaurant recipe that you don’t share so people will come to your restaurant to have it.

Our secret family recipe is a flourless chocolate cake too!

My dad makes a “secret sauce” for grilled chicken. We’ve called it a “secret sauce” ever since I was a kid. I’m pretty sure it’s just a magical combination of everyday ingredients (like ketchup and vinegar), but my husband recently asked him for the recipe and he said no! So now we always joke with him that we are going to film him making it :)

My husband makes all sorts of Mexican food (he’s 1st gen Mexican/Honduran) – taquitos, aguas frescas, sopas. The rest of my family is always asking for the recipe when I post his bomb dinners on insta, but it’s all in his head and learned passed down from his family, and from his father’s Mexican restaurant! It would be great to have it written down some day, but also, it’s tradition to pass it down through learning with your hands. I look forward to my son (and other future children) learning this hands on from their dad :)

Theres a co-op in town and an older lady Sherry would make the most INSANE chicken salad. I’m a vegetarian and I would eat it lol! It was a secret recipe and would sell out everyday. She no longer works there and my husband and I will forever dream about it for the rest of our lives!

We don’t have secret recipes, but I have a few videos of my mother making her signature dishes. People of her generation don’t use recipes, they learned it either by learning aside someone who was cooking it, or by cooking it again and again until they are satisfied. Writing down is tedious (because they are mostly Chinese cooking that involves a lot of work), and by recording her in action, we will be able to retain not only the techniques, but part of my aging mother’s essence: her voice, the way she talks, her laughters, her face. I have started asking my 10 years old children what are their favorite dishes, and started writing and collecting the recipes for them, because I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer early this year. I hope I can still be around for another 10 years, to raise their younger siblings, to be there to cook the special food my mother made for me when I had menstrual cramps, or when they need a little comfort or encouragement. Cooking for someone can achieves that, and delivers more than we thought to the receivers. If I am not around anymore, I hope they can have a piece of their childhood memories, part of my love, that when they cook and eat the food, they found themselves home and loved, again and again.

My grandmother’s secret brownie recipe turned out to be ghirardelli. She finally disclosed it after we nagged her about getting the recipe for years! Still the best brownies, IMO

I really hate that answer!! Food is meant to be shared, right? Unless you somehow make money from your recipe I don’t know why you wouldn’t share it.

I have a secret salted chocolate chunk cookie recipe and a zucchini bread recipe. Everyone loves them and it’s what keeps people wanting to stop around for a cuppa so I keep it secret!
I’ve also just nailed the perfect balance in a chilli oil and spicy Asian sauce! As the first of my family who really loves cooking I plan to make these family secret recipes that I’ll share with my kids!

My family has an amazing spoon fudge recipe. Soft and delicious right from the pot and even refrigerated.
My uncle was gifted the secret family recipe from my grandmother and his siblings swear he gives them all altered recipes as none can make it like him.
He promised he gave me his real recipe but over the years I have altered it too (especially when friends ask for the recipe!)

My Grandma has given me a lot of her recipes, and I have a few of my mother-in-law’s…but I don’t think they are secret. But they are full of memories.
I do however, have the secret recipe for the Caesar salad dressing from a local restaurant that people go mad for. I have to tell people its a secret when they ask for the recipe.

‘Family Recipe’ in my family means…store bought, boxed mix, etc!

My mother’s apricot biscotti recipe is fiercely guarded. The real secret is that it came out of a Betty Crocker magazine years ago, but we refuse to let those who ask know that.

More brown sugar than white?

My boyfriend is obsessed with adding paprika to everything (savory) and he is also has a massive sweet tooth. At the beginning of the pandemic I, like countless others, baked banana bread. As he was shoving a slice of fresh, warm, buttered banana bread in his mouth I asked him to guess my “secret ingredient.” (There was no secret ingredient, I’m just a trickster). Finally after many guesses I revealed: IT’S PAPRIKA! He literally almost choked from laughing and we are still laughing about it :)

My mother has perfected a peanut brittle recipe that has made her a minor celebrity around Christmas time. Not even I know the recipe!

For my bridal shower, my sister had everyone bring me a favorite recipe and provided them with a blank card. Almost 15 years later – and I still use these in heavy rotation – and they are all hand written – my Aunt Darlene’s secret brownie recipe {it’s involves Bisquick}, my best friend’s Floridian grandmothers key lime pie, Uncle Roger’s BBQ sauce, my college roommates spinach dip, etc… whenever I’m really missing one of them {especially these days!} I love thumbing thru and picking a recipe….. Also, a few years back, on Christmas my grandmother gave me her mother’s recipe box… so I hold a lot of special family recipes in my kitchen – and every so often, an aunt will call me a need me to reference one of Grammie Jo’s recipes! It’s such a sweet way to remain connected. {but I haven’t tried the Tuna Jello recipe yet…..}

I am small-time famous for my salted chocolate chip cookies. They are the reason my husband married me and were also the favours at our wedding. People are always so hesitant and careful when they ask me if I’m willing to share the recipe, but I don’t believe in keeping incredible cookies from anyone! I not only share it, but also send all my tried-and-true tips on how to make them. (Always salted butter, unbleached four doesn’t work, and take them out when they still look undone, but leave them alone on the pan for a bit before moving them.) People always text me or tag me in their posts when they make them. I love that warm, delicious cookies (my favourite food) make them think of me.

The best chocolate cake I ever had was at Taberna da Rua das Flores in Lisbon (it’s a must, if you’re visiting Portugal!). It looks similar to the feature image in this post. We asked the server, and she said the recipe was an old secret. She “thought there might be” a tablespoon of flour in it, but that’s all she could tell us. Argh!

Yes, we did, but they were such secrets that they died along with the people who “owned ” them. My great- grandmother had some recipes that she would not give to my mother because she was a “yankee.” My dad’s family was all from Charleston, but my poor mom was from Pennsylvania, so she apparently didn’t qualify to get any Southern recipes!

We have one now! Quarantine motivated me to search for the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe (yes, I tried CoJ’s!), and I ended up developing my very own. It is SO good. Thinnest crunchy outside with the softest, chewy interior and plenty of gooey chocolate. I’ve been making and baking for everyone I know, but the recipe is all mine ;)

A few weeks ago I accidentally bought a can of coconut cream instead of coconut milk, and now I know what to do with it! Thank you!!

I never felt more grown up than when I had a recipe named after me! Trust me, I am not a creative cook and would not expect my name attached to any recipe, much less one I found on the internet. However, when I recently stopped to chat with my neighbors, the now grown-up daughter introduced me to her new husband, who said (with admiration, I might add): “So you’re the famous Marci.” What? I didn’t think Sarah even really thought about me in the years since she left home much less talked enough about me to achieve “famous” status. Apparently, I am known through a couple of recipes I brought annually to neighborhood potlucks, one being salsa — so hilarious since I am a Minnesota of Scandinavian descent who finds some perfectly normal things too spicy for my tastes. I typically bring an “as written” version of the salsa to parties and one with fewer jalapenos and additional lime juice, jokingly calling it Swedish salsa. And yes, my friends, that is what that version is called among Sarah’s in-laws: “Marci’s Swedish Salsa.” I am so honored!

My Dad tried to have a family secret recipe- his cheesecake. But he mistakenly shared his very secret recipe notecard with my mom who is the kind of person who can’t keep a secret to save her life. She made copies of the card and shared it with all her friends- anyone, really, you didn’t even have to ask her. My dad was pretty bummed about it.
It’s lemon- one of the secret ingredients:lemon.

Why secret recipes? Share the yumminess, share the love!

not a totally secret recipe, but my mama has secret ingredients in a few of her baked goodies. she’ll gladly give out the basic recipe, and no one will ever know why there’s just… isn’t… quite.. the… same…

Anybody else have 22 tabs open with various recipes after reading this post?!

My grandmother (from Minnesota) always made chicken and noodles, a novelty for my brothers and I (from Alabama) as chicken and dumplings were the norm. The recipe is not a secret per se, however, it is not written down anywhere to my knowledge because she didn’t use a recipe. For years I asked my grandmother to teach me how to make her famous chicken and noodles, but I never received formal instruction. The last conversation I had with her before her death was about her noodles and how to make them. I like to think that makes me the keeper of the secret because I’m pretty sure no one in my family knows how to make them. It’s amazing what memories and emotions arise while eating a bowl of those chicken and noodles with my family.